I am a Black woman, and I am tired of being a chronic overachiever

As a young Black girl, I was taught the proverbial lesson, “you have to work twice as hard to get half as far.” Similarly, many Black children grow up hearing this same message from their elders. Now as an older adult, I realize this message is both protective and destructive. Knowing that my Black skin and gender rendered me both invisible and hyper-visible in some spaces, while also engendering certain stereotypes and assumptions about my work ethic from white people allowed me to enter mixed race situations with a level of hyper vigilance. James Baldwin illustrates this hyper vigilance that Black people have to embody as they move through the world — the feeling of two-ness, “double consciousness” — feeling a certain way about oneself but also being aware of how others perceive you through their eyes.

There is nothing worse than a Black child who grows up completely oblivious to the damaging impacts of systemic racism — the cautionary tale I received about needing to work hard in situations where my worth was up for a contentious debate allowed me insight into what hand I was being dealt before I even got a chance to see it. This type of social awareness is indeed protective. However, hearing this at such a young age stripped me from being able to truly acknowledge and embrace my imperfections — because I was often taught to…