Why Black and Brown Women Can’t Rest in the Workplace?
I am currently reading Rest is Resistance: A Manifesto by Tricia Hersey who is the founder of the Nap Ministry. This book is a call to Black women to disrupt and push back against the pressure and demands of white supremacy and capitalism in a quest to claim rest, daydreaming and naps for our own liberation. This book made me come to terms with all of the preconceived notions I had about rest, what I had been told about rest, and how others perceived my rest.
It also made me realize that rest isn’t one mental health day a month while you’re feeling burnout every other day of the month; rest as resistance is an embodiment and lived experience, it’s an ongoing commitment to prioritize self above others. For Black women in particular, rest has always been a controversial issue; we’ve been raised by women who we adore who have typically been self-sacrificing and focused on community care, above self-care. Coming to terms with rest means potentially letting go of aspects of your identity, and what you have come to know as true; it means setting boundaries with and for the exact people we have been entrusted to care for. This is a hard job.
Coupled with my interest in this book, I’m hearing about the importance of embracing the “soft life” for Black and Brown women. As with many viral trends, the soft life began with Black women. The “Soft Life” is about embracing self-care and preservation in every aspect of your work, life, and personal relationships. This means saying no, setting boundaries, taking sabbaticals, and not giving unnecessary energy to people and things who don’t deserve it. I am no “soft life” poster child — I am out here being a “soft life” imposter. I’m doing the massages, nail and hair appointments, and occasional commitments to fitness plans, but I am still taking on the guilt of not giving all of myself at work and in personal relationships. We, as Black women have a real problem with leaving spaces and people unfilled and un-affected by our magic, presence and labor. But, why…. it’s not solely because we’re unwilling to let go completely, and be okay with things being undone, it’s because there are systemic forces that create the inability for rest in our lives.
In some ways, we have internalized this guilt which leads to feelings of shame for not being enough and doing enough but this internalization of shame inhibits us from turning the mirror outwards to really examine why we’re so stressed, burnout and fatigued to begin with. As a career coach, I naturally think about this in relation to work so I wanted to put together a list of a few reasons why Black women are unable to rest in the workplace.
1. We’re in too many “Glass Cliff” situations
You may be familiar with the term Glass Ceiling, which means there are invisible barriers and obstacles that make it challenging for women and minorities to access higher paid, and more visible leadership positions. The phenomena, Glass Cliff is a little newer, and it involves a scenario where women of color are placed in leadership roles in organizations that are facing a crisis. These crises may encompass budget shortfalls or deficits, a threat of company closure or bankruptcy, a smaller organization with limited staffing capacity, or an organization with a bad or unsavory public reputation. A Black or Brown woman is then put in this position to basically save the company without the proper support. Many Black women found themselves in these situations in 2020, where companies hired senior level DEI officers in response to the murder of George Floyd. Essentially, the Black woman is looked at as the savior, and often the scapegoat if things don’t improve.
Crisis management is something that a lot of Black women tend to take on — and sure, we’re naturally great leaders in times of crises — but we also tend to take on all the responsibility for noticing and solving the crises, while our white and male colleagues are completely absolved from it. And often times, it’s the white leaders who caused the crisis, so they select a Black or Brown woman to come clean up shop.
Many companies disguise “Glass Cliff” situations in interviews; they will typically convey their commitment to DEI by having a position that is highly visible and expressing how important it is for them to hire a person of color; but they fail to portray the true realities of the role before the candidate has accepted the offer. Once hired, the organization fails to provide the person with the necessary mentorship, financial and personnel support to weather the crisis.
2. We’re too busy doing the non-promotable tasks in the workplace
Who wants to serve on the safety committee? Who wants to organize the office party? Who wants to organize files on the company drive? I am sure you all can point to several instances of doing the less glamorous work — but women, especially women of color are often saddled with this work a lot more. Oftentimes, this work isn’t even in their job description, and they’re asked to take on this work for the sake of culture building in the workplace.
None of this work is visible, noticed or acknowledged and none of this work is even considered or evaluated in annual reviews, or promotions but it’s incredibly time consuming and exhausting.
If you take on additional responsibilities that don’t relate to your job in any way, this requires more attention and time away from your actual responsibilities.
Our white and male colleagues can easily say “no” to this work or claim they have too much on their plate to take this work on — but women of color often feel pressured to take on this work because there’s already preconceived notions and assumptions made about our work ethic. If we don’t take on these work tasks, people will assume we’re not committed or even worse, lazy.
Supervisors never consider the work time and commitment of these non-promotable tasks. What they sell as a once a month, one hour safety meeting actually then turns into more meetings, and the creating an entire strategic plan on employee safety for the entire organization.
I remember being in a role where I had to plan an entire staff retreat for some people I didn’t even supervise at the time, while the supervisors of other staff took on no planning responsibilities. I think Black women are forced to take on several HR and culture building responsibilities in the workplace, and then organizations start holding them responsible and accountable for improvements in the overall workplace culture which isn’t fair.
White people, and men benefit from Black women’s overinvolvement in these tasks as we accomplish work that directly benefits their workload and productivity. We organized files on the company drive or provided increased opportunities for cross department collaboration via company parties and gatherings which in turn allows them to do their work better, and more efficiently.
3. We’ve burnt ourselves out by the cognitive labor
I wrote an article for Medium titled “ I am a Black woman, and I am tired of thinking too much: Black women and the inequities of cognitive labor.” In this article, I talk about brain capacity overload and all the thought Olympics Black women have to do in and out of work. By the time I get to work, I have probably already made five major decisions about my household, and then once at work, I have to not only manage the thought process for all my tasks — but I also have to pick up the slack of the lack of foresight from other staff or my supervisor. Cue, my article on Managing Up, and why I believe it’s toxic.
Black and Brown people have always valued community care; we can point to instances throughout history and our own lives where we have looked to aunts, uncles, and cousins to care for us. Arguably having a community centered approach to care is very much part of our identity, and we naturally bring this to the workplace which in many ways can be exploited.
I often find that in positions where I get to advocate and have the ear of senior leaders — I often will put aside my own needs and desires and instead start speaking on behalf of my team or another co-worker. I do believe that everyone should use their power and privilege to open up avenues for others, I think there is something unfair about Black women constantly needing to advocate for others, while ignoring their own needs for advocacy. Sure, I want to advocate for my colleague Anna, and make it known that she needs a title change and pay increase, but let’s not ignore the fact that I too, have worked my butt off with little support, and I am doing work that I am not even compensated for.
I recognize there’s many more reasons and this list is not comprehensive. My hope is that Black women are beginning to slowly come to terms with the external forces that make rest and the “soft life” challenging. I also hope white and male colleagues are also coming to terms with how their positionality in a company is likely due to the work and sacrifices of Black and Brown women. With all of my posts, my call is for those who hold the most power and privilege to do something. Avoid the thank yous and expressions of gratitude-actually do something that helps lift up and liberate Black women so they too can explore a life of rest.
